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Reuters News
  • Toyota says plans 11-day factory halt in Japan
    TOKYO (Reuters) - Toyota Motor Corp , the world's biggest automaker, is to halt production at all its Japanese plants for a total of 11 days in February and March...
  • Merrill brokerage chief McCann to leave
    NEW YORK (Reuters) - Bob McCann, head of brokerage at Merrill Lynch & Co, announced his plans to leave the securities firm, just days after its acquisition by Bank of...
  • Asia stocks up on hopes of recovery
    HONG KONG (Reuters) - Asian stocks edged up for a seventh day on Tuesday, boosted by hopes for a global economic recovery later in 2009, though the rising yen and...
  • Oil steady above $48 on MidEast, Russian tensions
    SINGAPORE (Reuters) - Oil was steady above $48 on Tuesday after rising 5 percent overnight, as Israel's deepening incursion into Gaza and a spat between Russia and Ukraine over gas...
  • Prosecutors seek to jail Madoff
    NEW YORK/WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. prosecutors asked a judge to jail accused swindler Bernard Madoff on Monday, saying he sent jewelry and other items worth more than $1 million to...
  • Car sales plunge heralding bleak 2009
    DETROIT (Reuters) - U.S. auto sales plunged by 36 percent in December led by outsized declines at Chrysler LLC, Hyundai Motor and Toyota Motor Corp as the battered industry closed...
  • Apple's Jobs reassures investors about his health
    NEW YORK (Reuters) - Apple Inc Chief Executive Steve Jobs sought to soothe investor concerns about his health on Monday, saying his weight loss was caused by a hormone imbalance...
  • Economists seek solutions, signs of life in housing
    SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Top economists at the Allied Social Sciences Association's annual meeting have been searching -- in some cases, in vain -- for signs of life in the...
  • Cigna to cut 1,100 jobs, citing weak economy
    LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Health insurer Cigna Corp said on Monday it will cut 1,100 jobs, or about 4 percent of its workforce, and consolidate certain operations as it...
  • Fed buys MBS in latest unconventional move
    NEW YORK (Reuters) - The Federal Reserve on Monday kick-started its latest unconventional program to boost the moribund economy, this time taking aim at the heart of the slumping housing...

               The Freedom Revolution Blog

Tag >> Humor

Santa Needs a Bailout

Posted by: Jordan in VideoHumorEconomy on



Santas Disable Enforcement Cameras in Tempe


Rewarding Failure: Why Stop With Big 3?

Declan McCullagh : CBS

The Honorable Henry Paulson
U.S. Department of the Treasury
1500 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20220

Dear Secretary Paulson:

I understand that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid are urging you to hand $25 billion or more to Detroit's nearly bankrupt automakers. While President-elect Obama indicated on 60 Minutes that he likes the idea, the Bush administration has been skeptical.

That is unfortunate. Bailing out companies that lose money on every vehicle they manufacture and cannot adapt to changing market conditions is not merely necessary in today's economic climate -- it's the American way.

Read More...


Obama's Use of Complete Sentences Stirs Controversy

Andy Borowitz : Huffington Post

In the first two weeks since the election, President-elect Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the past eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.

Millions of Americans who watched Mr. Obama's appearance on CBS's 60 Minutes on Sunday witnessed the president-elect's unorthodox verbal tick, which had Mr. Obama employing grammatically correct sentences virtually every time he opened his mouth.

Read More...



U.S. Holds Going-Out-Of-Business Sale

The Onion

WASHINGTON, DC—In an address broadcast on late-night television Tuesday, President Bush announced that the federal government will liquidate its holdings in a going-out-of-business sale scheduled to begin Friday.

"The U.S. government, America's place for law and order since 1776, has lost its lease, and everything must go, go, go," Bush said. "But our loss is your gain, and make no mistake: You, the people, would be crazy to miss out on these amazing closeout bargains."

Read More...


In The Know: Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?

The Onion
In The Know: Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?

From TheOnion.com

The revelation that Obama's candidacy was the only thing that gave their lives any meaning has caused many supporters to wander aimlessly, unsure of what to do with themselves.

 

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this video

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3_95F5e-Ac  2:47



Now Playing at Reason.tv: Where's My Bailout?—a rescue plan for the rest of us.

From BoingBoing

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson



Dollar Bill On Floor Sends Wall Street Into Frenzy (Humor)

The Onion

NEW YORK—Wall Street investors experienced a sudden surge in optimism Tuesday when, after six tumultuous weeks that saw record drops in the Dow Jones industrial average, a $1 bill was spotted on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange.

The dollar bill was discovered in the northwest corner of the trading floor at approximately 12:05 p.m., and its condition was reported as "crinkled, but real." Word of the tangible denomination of U.S. currency spread quickly across the NYSE, sending traders into a frenzied rush of shouting, arm-flailing, hooting, hollering, and, according to eyewitnesses, at least one dog pile.

Read More...

NBR's offbeat look at the government plan to bail the U.S. out of its financial crisis. All sales final.

 

 You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this video

 
 

Do We Know the Real McCain?

Posted by: Jordan in VideoPoliticsHumor on





Who Do You Hate '08?

Posted by: Jordan in VideoHumor on



Man bills Michigan town $156 for cleaning bathroom


AP

SAUGATUCK, Mich. (AP) - A businessman said he was so frustrated with the condition of a public bathroom in the western Michigan tourist town of Saugatuck that he cleaned it himself, and billed the city $156 for his work.

Steve Oswald told WZZM-TV in Grand Rapids that customers of his shop complained Aug. 9 about the condition of the bathroom.

Read More...


Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency (Humor)

The Onion



Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency


Affair To Threaten Whatever It Is John Edwards Does For A Living

The Onion

WASHINGTON—News of his extramarital affair with a former campaign worker could put John Edwards at serious risk of losing the position or appointment he currently holds, or may be planning to hold, or to contend for, if he hasn't lost it already, sources reported Tuesday.

Read More...


Some spot-on humor from The Onion

Posted by: Jordan in Humor on

Via the The Onion:

Recession-Plagued Nation Demands New Bubble To Invest In

WASHINGTON—A panel of top business leaders testified before Congress about the worsening recession Monday, demanding the government provide Americans with a new irresponsible and largely illusory economic bubble in which to invest.

"What America needs right now is not more talk and long-term strategy, but a concrete way to create more imaginary wealth in the very immediate future," said Thomas Jenkins, CFO of the Boston-area Jenkins Financial Group, a bubble-based investment firm. "We are in a crisis, and that crisis demands an unviable short-term solution."

Read More...

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